Caught between Worlds
by Nepygill
Summary: Jack has to make a decision in a world which defies reality.


Caught between worlds2 ****

TITLE: Caught between worlds

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AUTHOR: Nephthys

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E-MAIL: [nephthyssgc@yahoo.com][1]

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CATEGORY: Angst, hurt/comfort

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STATUS: Complete

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SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, In the line of duty (such tiny,tiny spoiler it's hardly worth mentioning) and Maternal Instincts (Wow – one word !), The Gamekeeper

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RATING: PG

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CONTENT WARNINGS: None, not even bad language – which is a first !

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SUMMARY: Jack has to make a decision in a world which defies reality.

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DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately Stargate SG-1 and it's characters are not mine, I'm only borrowing them for now, they can have them back later. In fact I was going to ring General Hammond in the morning and ask him to put SG-1 on stand down for oh....at least another week, they're very handy around the house ! But Stargate SG-1 and it's characters are in fact the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions (lucky them) and in my harmless idea of fun no copyright infringement was intended as I am allergic to being sued (no, I am really !) amongst other things. This was written for entertainment purposes only and although I really wish I had a bit of extra cash, no money swapped hands in this process (though if anyone gets it in their heads to make a contribution so I can buy my next ink cartridge and carry on writing, feel free.)

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to Hathor for inspiring me to write more fanfic when I ran into a block, I'm truly amazed by you're delve into fiction and I suppose me and Hemotodypsia are to blame for that, whoops!

Caught Between Worlds

By Nephthys

"Jump."

"I can't."

"Jump, you must jump, there's no other choice."

"I always have a choice, you can't take that freedom away from me."

"You don't understand."

"Damn right I don't."

"You must jump if you want to see them again."

"Them ?"

"Your friends, they're waiting."

Jack felt nothing, no sense of being or purpose, life or belonging. Only a delicate, soft voice kept ringing in his ears, telling him, persuading him. 

He didn't know where he was, what this place was, how he had gotten their, he simply was, simply did, simply no longer existed.

He felt peaceful here, it was comforting and warm, wrapped in a blanket and smothered by contentment.

Where was here? For once in his life Jack's suspicious nature never came into play, he simply didn't care. He could stay here forever.

"No, you can't do that."

The disembodied voice again.

"You can't tell me what to do," Jack answered without feeling.

"No, but I'm trying to help you find your way. Jump."

"Find my way, I'm not lost."

"You are not meant to be here."

"I want to be here."

"This was never meant for you."

Jack was puzzled, the blanketed fog around his head was starting to clear, and a stab of panic flashed through him. 

"What do you mean ?" He asked nervously, his world becoming uncertain and anxiety filling his mind.

Suddenly a loud cry cut through the comforting calmness.

"Colonel !"

He knew that voice ! He had heard it before, recognised it with a frightening familiarity that he failed to pinpoint in his mind. Where had he heard that voice, how ?

"What's the last thing you can remember ?" The soft, echoing voice of before asked through the fog.

"I..I..don't know." Jack answered truthfully, and it bothered him, he was always in control, always had a handle on the situation, but now.....

"Don't you want to go back ?" The voice asked.

"Where ?"

"To your existence."

"No."

"You do not belong here, go back, jump."

"No."

Suddenly Jack's mind was filled with fleeting images of faces, events, without knowing how, he knew names, each image filling him with overwhelming emotions and thoughts. He gasped at the speed of which he knew everything, who he was, where he should be.

"What was that," Jack asked nervously.

"That was your life."

"Me, mine, all that ? I can't remember."

"Yes, you can."

"How ?"

"Sara." The one syllable was whispered so simply and quietly, it brought another rush of images, thoughts, voices, understanding.

"Sara," Jack repeating lovingly, "I know who she is."

"Good."

"SG-1, my team, where are they ?" Jack asked worriedly.

"They're waiting for you, in your existence."

"My existence ?" Jack was confused.

"Your plane of existence. Your plane of dimension." The voice proceeded to answer him.

"Planes, dimensions - that's Carter's stuff." Jack grinned.

Then it hit him like a bolt of lightning clarity. That voice, the cry he had heard before, it had been Carter. Damn, how come he hadn't been able to remember her or SG-1 ? The comforting feeling surrounding him continued to ebb away as his paranoia kicked in and he appealed to the voice that continued to talk softly to him.

"Where am I ?"

"In our world."

"Your world?"

"The place that the dead and dying come to, to feel at peace with themselves, another existence separate from the body, a journey that only the mind can make. You are not meant to be here, you are alive and well, you have your life to live yet."

"Wait a minute," Jack tried to understand the information that was being handed out to him, "are you telling me this place is like a resting place for dying people to come to so they can be peaceful before they die ? Kinda like a taster session for heaven ?"

"Yes. You could say that."

"Well why am I here ? How did I get here ?" Jack asked irritated.

"You activated the passageway between our two worlds."

"That artifact Danny was going on about ?"

"Yes."

Jack was silent for a moment while he urged his mind to remember what happened between the time he touched the artifact to floating in this warm, comfortable heaven.

He remembered the mission. Go to this planet, assess it for potential threats and report back in two days. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary at first, till they found what appeared to be a log cabin in the middle of the woods, Carter and Daniel had got very excited once they had found out what was inside. They had said it was like some kind of religious place, there were signs of sacrifices and a load of scribble that got Daniel's attention immediately.

As for Jack, he had inspected the room, found a pretty looking stone box, opened it. His natural curiosity was overridden by a blinding lilac light flashing from inside and he stepped back in alarm, his urgent call causing his team to drop whatever they were doing.

The light had dragged him in, then he knew no more till he woke up safe in this haven.

"Who are you ?" He asked for the first time.

"We are the Carundai, we are the guides to this world, helping all those who need our aid."

"Yes, I need your help, I need to get back to my world, help me please." Jack pleaded desperately, the fog becoming more and more suffocating around him.

"I'm afraid that's up to you, we can only guide you."

"But there is a way out ?"

"Yes, a way was devised for those who may come here unknowingly, but it is difficult, it has never been attempted before." The voice sounded scared and uncertain, very different to its tone of before.

"What do I have to do ?" Jack asked, determined.

"Jump."

********************************

Daniel stared down at the still body of his friend and slammed his fist against the nearby table so hard in frustration he spilled the coffee resting there.

It had been a long week since travelling to PX7658, where Jack had opened something so terrible it had caused him to crumple bonelessly to the floor, causing a state of unconsciousness that no-one could explain and from which Jack was yet to wake up from.

"Damn it Jack, now would be a good time to wake up, it's okay sleeping for a couple of days, I could understand that, but a whole week ? Nobody could sleep for that long."

Daniel slumped dejectedly into the uncomfortable seat next to Jack's bed in the infirmary. He was well aware Doctor Fraiser had been observing him for some time, debating whether or not to force him to go away and sleep, but knowing full well he would not leave his friends side till Jack woke up.

Janet was angry also, but at herself. She didn't know what was wrong with Colonel O'Neill, by all accounts he should be awake, but he wasn't, he had been in a coma for the last week. She couldn't explain it. She also knew Daniel was angry at himself for letting Jack discover the artifact first, that should be his job, now he had led Jack into danger.

She still remembered the concerned and worried gazes on the three team members and the General as they ran into her infirmary carrying a very unconscious Colonel, the despair and tiredness on their faces had caused her to order them to get some sleep, but she should have known better than to try and drag Daniel away from his friends side, so she simply let him be, forcing him only to eat and drink and offering her support and advice.

Suddenly an alarm squealed above Jack's bed and she ran to his side, pushing Daniel urgently out the way, trying to assess the situation.

"What's happening, what's wrong ?" Daniel asked worriedly.

"His temperatures risen by a good four degrees and he's having trouble breathing, I'll have to intubate. I want bloods drawn STAT, I want pulse/ox and blood pressure now !" She yelled frantically, calling on her nurses for assistance and setting her equipment up.

Expertly she inserted the tube, deftly navigating it down Jack's throat and taping it in place, sighing in relief as Jack's respiratory effort was now helped along by the extra oxygen getting to his lungs.

"Janet, what's happening ?" Daniel asked nervously.

"Daniel, I really don't know."

****************************

"What do I have to do ?" Jack asked again.

"Jump." The voice answered simply.

"Yes," Jack said in persistence, "I know that, but what exactly do I do ?"

"Follow your faith, your instincts."

"How."

"You have to find the way out, there is a way, you have to listen to what your mind is telling you."

"But how do I do that ?"

"You're not listening to what your mind is telling you. Concentrate."

'I'm trying, I'm trying,' Jack thought, 'I don't know what to do."

"You have to be quick, without your mind, your body cannot exist."

"What !" Jack was worried now, he didn't know what was happening in his world, but he got a very unpleasant feeling from the alien's last words that sent a chill through him, shattering the last feelings of comfort surrounding him.

"Hurry."

********************** 

"I'm afraid his body's shutting down, he's running a high fever due to his body's attempts to stop his organs failing, his lungs are being severely compromised, and I still don't know what's causing this, until I do, there's not much I can offer." Janet reported to Hammond, the feeling of helplessness overpowering her, and although she was so unwilling to admit defeat, she had reached the end of her tether, no longer knowing what to do to stop her patient being dragged further and further away from them.

"Sir, permission to take a team back to that planet, it's all we have to go on." Sam Carter pleaded to her superior.

General Hammond sat heavily in his chair, the worries of the SGC weighing on his shoulders and he seemed to sag in the chair, also unsure what to do for not the first time since he joined the SGC. Yet Major Carter's enthusiasm and hope seemed to catch. Daniel had also entered the room and all where looking at him expectantly.

"Okay Major, you can take SG-1 and SG-4 with you, but I want to remind you to take the proper precautions, including Hazmat suits and the proper procedures, we don't know what is on that planet, if you bring anything back, including any artifacts Doctor Jackson may wish to study, level five containment procedures should be used. Briefing in half an hour, dismissed." Hammond ordered with a wave of his hand.

"Yes sir, thankyou sir." Carter answered before leaving the room with Daniel and Doctor Fraiser at her heels.

**************************

Jack struggled to breathe through the hazy fog that settled around him, squeezing his lungs till there was no more air. Gasping for breath and his vision dimming, he continued to float in this world, a feeling of desperate panic now surrounded him.

"You must jump now, your body cannot survive without the mind, then the mind will shortly cease to exist, you must go now."

"I don't....know...how," Jack gasped.

"Concentrate."

It took all of Jack's mental will power for the scene to change. He focussed all his remaining energy into his thoughts, thoughts of Carter, Daniel and Tiel'c. Then he thought of Hammond, and Fraiser, the SGC and Cheyenne Mountain, Charlie and his ex-wife Sara.

Suddenly the fog was gone, the weight lifted from his shoulders, he could breathe again. Although he had been starved of oxygen, he felt none of the after effects he normally associated with oxygen deprivation. No burning sensation in his lungs, dizziness in his head, no gulping for air as his body tried to take in enough of the precious gas to replenish that which he lost. Why ?

"This is your mind, your body is elsewhere." The voice answered his questions.

"You can read my thoughts ?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"Yes."

"So you know all that I know ?" Jack was beginning to get very uncomfortable with the whole idea.

"Only that which you wish to share." 

"I didn't wish to share anything, it was a mistake, I didn't know," Jack began to get angry as he realised how much information he had inadvertadly given away.

"It means nothing to us, we cannot leave this place."

"Oh." Jack wasn't sure what to say. So he said nothing, the alien answered for him.

"Look around you....."

**************************

Carter exited the gate first, closely followed by Daniel and Tiel'c. They stood back and allowed SG-4 through. It was going to be a long day.

With Carter officially in charge of the mission, she felt herself longing for O'Neill's leadership, his company, his bad jokes, and his finely tuned instincts that usually where correct. She lead the way through the forest, retracing their earlier steps, occasionally kicking stones in frustration, or stopping to let Daniel inspect something or other.

The planet was lovely, she thought, but there was still an underlying feel of mystery and creepiness that she didn't like. It reminded her of something, but she couldn't place the memory and it irritated her.

Finally they came to a stop next to a large rock that was only metres from the cabin they had come across last week. She watched one young lieutenant bend down to tie his loose shoelaces and she indicated to the rest of the group that they stop and rest here.

One by one the group sat down in a huddle. Daniel looked over to find Sam off in her own world. Tiel'c also noticed Carter's faraway gaze and both wondered what she was thinking.

"Sam ?" Daniel asked gently.

"Oh god....," she looked startled as she met Daniel's worried gaze.

"What ?" He asked urgently, standing up to walk over to her and sit down nearby on a soft patch of moss.

"I know....I know what this memory is I keep getting, it's not mine, it's Jolinar's...she's been here before, it's not what we think." She blurted out in a jumble of words.

"Hey, slow down and tell me exactly what you know." Daniel touched her hand briefly, hoping the light contact would reassure her.

"This place, we've got it all wrong, we don't even have a right to be here." Sam answered softly.

"What do you mean ?"

"According to Jolinar, this is where the dying come to to find final peace before they die. That cabin that we found was some sort of shelter for a device that transports you to another plane of existence. That box that the Colonel touched must have been what activated the passageway. Jolinar feared this place because it is said that once this dimension is entered, one can't escape from it, it's permanent until you die. This was all a mistake." She was almost crying at her realisation, even Daniel looked stunned. Tiel'c however, understood the meaning of such a place.

"This is much like Kheb, one goes there to find peace before they die." He told them.

"Well I for one am not going to give up on Jack that easily," Daniel responded fiercely, "we're going to retrieve that box and find out how it works, their has to be a way out of there."

"I don't think so Daniel, I don't know." Carter looked up miserably.

"Well there's only one way to find out then." 

Daniel looked pointedly in the direction of the cabin.

***************************

Jack gaped in amazement as he looked round his current surroundings. How could he have not noticed this before ?

The fog had melted away to reveal a planet, he was standing on firm ground, wind blew through his hair and causing him to shiver at the cold.

He was standing on one side of a large ravine on a lush world, green and fertile. Trees and plants completed the landscape, and wild animals rustled through the dense underbrush.

He stared down into the gaping gap of the ravine. Geez, it was a long way down. 'Wouldn't want to fall,' Jack thought as he shuffled away from the edge. 

Jack looked over at the other side of the ravine, he could see figures in shadow beckoning to him, their arms waving and their mouths speaking to him, but no sound came out.

"Where am I?" He shouted into the air.

"In your mind," was the answer, "you must choose."

"Choose between what ?" Jack asked confounded.

Suddenly he saw movement behind him and reflexively turned sharply round. He almost cried out loud at what he saw.

Sara. And Charlie - his Charlie, his son. Kawalsky and John. He thought they were dead. They too were waving at him, the lips mouthing something he couldn't hear.

"What's going on ?" He asked angrily, "they can't be here, they can't they don't belong here."

"This is what your mind has created, choose now."

Suddenly the sounds were released, he looked over to the other side of the ravine and almost stumbled when he saw his team shouting at him, waving furiously for him to follow them. The noise assaulted his ears and he didn't know which way to turn, cries and pleads flew through the air and he tried to make sense of them, his mind not coping with what he was seeing. On one side of the huge ravine stood his team, on the other side - his family, old friends, dead friends - all calling to him.

"Colonel, this way, come here."

"Come home Jack, this is where you belong"

"Dad, Dad, you promised you'd come back, you promised."

"Jack, you most come now, Carter's right we have to go now."

"Hey Jack, aren't I your buddy, don't I know what's best ?"

"We must go now O'Neill, before it is too late."

"Jack, Jack, Jack. I've known you longer than anyone else, I know you love me, come here."

"No Colonel, you can't listen to them."

"Jack ?"

"Come home."

"NOOOO !!" Jack yelled, covering his ears with his hands, "go away, go away."

"You must choose between the past and the present."

"No." Jack still had his hands over his ears, but the soft voice still reached him.

"Choose now."

**************************

"Sir, we successfully retrieved the artifact we believe is responsible for Colonel O'Neill's current condition." Carter reported to a tired looking General Hammond, running a grubby hand through her short hair and sighing at the inevitable question she knew was about to be asked next.

"We ?" 

"Jolinar Sir, I..er..had a flashback, one of her memories. This artifact transports the mind to another dimension. It is meant to be resting place for the dying before they pass away. I believe that the Colonel is there. I recommend studying this further, if what I remember is correct, Colonel O'Neill doesn't have much longer."

"Why ?"

"I remember a saying - 'without the mind, the body can no longer exist.' I think the Colonel's mind is trapped in another dimension almost incomprehendable to us, and unless we can find a way to get him back, we may lose his body first." Carter looked scared as she recited what she remembered from her short flashback she had had while on the planet.

General Hammond looked shocked at this discovery, looking at the small box with a new respect and warily keeping his distance.

"Do what you have to Major, you can have whatever resources you require, dismissed."

************************

The different voices continued to assault Jack's mind, pummelling him with their urgent pleading tones, their persuasion and the creepiness of how real they sounded.

"Choose quickly." The soft, alien voice whispered.

The cold feeling Jack had experienced was growing in intensity and his whole body was starting to feel numb, his hands shaking from the cold and confusion written in his eyes.

"Think carefully, but hurry, you do not have long left." The voice said.

'Think Jack,' he thought , 'this is going to take time I haven't got, think.'

************************

The hard plastic chair Daniel had been sat on now left him feeling tired and stiff and he rose slowly, glancing down at his friend and teammate in the bed below him. 

Jack's heart rate continued to slow down, his temperature, after shooting up, had now declined to below normal, leaving Jack's skin feeling cold to the touch.

Jack was slowly dying, his body shutting down. And there was nothing Daniel could do about it. He was too tired to be angry anymore, simply defeated as he sat back down in the chair to wait.

They were slowly losing him. Hour by hour Jack became weaker and weaker, slipping further and further away from the land of the living. 

Sighing in frustration, Daniel's head began to droop as his body succumbed to a much needed state of sleep, flopping down, he rested his head and upper body against Jack's bed and falling gladly into the realm of sleep.

*************************

"Think, right, you can do that," Jack told himself, "let's work through this logically."

He saw behind him, his family and dead friends, he knew they were not real, they couldn't possibly be. What was it that voice had said now ? Choose between the past and the present. Well that was easy, the present would be the right choice to make. But was it the right choice for him ? He could stay, with Sara, and Charlie, his dear Charlie, they could be happy, content.

"And dead." The voice echoed.

Dead ! He didn't want to be dead. But if that was what it took to be with his family again. He had once said he would do anything to be with them, well..if that was what it took then so be it. He turned towards the pleading group with his wife and son amidst them.

"Think, this is not real, this is in the past, these people exist only in your past. Would you be willing to give up the rest of your life to be with them ?" The voice asked him.

"Yes."

"What about the present, what about the people who need you now ?"

"They don't need me, I belong here."

"Of course we need you," a different voice penetrated his cold mind - it was Carter - "I need you, and you're selfish to think otherwise, come home, where you belong....we're losing you."

"You need me ?"

"Yes."

Jack thought for a moment, whether that was really Carter, or just a figment of his imagination, that's all this place was.

But what if it were true ? Did his team need him ? Did he need them ? He thought about what might happen, how he would feel if he never saw them again. Never saw Tiel'c - his friend, his equal, never saw Danny-boy, his best friend. Never saw Sam again, his second in command, and someone who he once admitted having feelings for. 

He couldn't imagine never seeing them again. 

Then he knew which side of the ravine he had to be on.

"Jump." The soft voice persuaded him.

But Jack hesitated at the edge of the cliff, looking nervously down. It was a long way. He glanced over his shoulder at the happiness he was leaving behind and he felt his heart pull him back to them.

"I can't, I just can't," he admitted.

"Yes you can, choose the right path." The voice told him.

Taking a deep breath, Jack walked several paces back, then turned to face the gap he had to jump to be reunited with the world he knew.

"Jump."

Jack took a stride towards the edge, the world seemed to be in slow motion as he ran towards the edge.

"Jump."

Another stride, he looked purposely at his team and concentrated.

"Jump,"

Another stride.

"Jump."

Jack took off, the world beneath his feet blurring as his fast motion propelled him through the air.

'I'm going to make it, I'm going to make it,' he thought excitedly. 

But as quick as he had ran, he started to fall, arms flailing, he was desperate to reach the other side, but his rapid descent continued and he felt himself become colder and colder as he was dragged towards death.

"Not...gonna make.....it," he gasped through the cold.

"Think," the voice told him, "use your power of thought."

Jack concentrated, thought hard about his team, their faces, their expressions, their voices, their possessions, their hobbies, their friendship, their loyalty.

Jack felt himself being blown upwards by a particularly strong gust of wind and he was flung upwards so fast it was difficult to breath, he saw himself being pulled out of the ravine he had descended into and was thrown ungracefully out onto the grass on the other side of the ravine - he had made it.

He looked round for his team, only to find no one on either side of the gap he had just crossed and he shouted up angrily at the sky.

"Where are they, what are you playing at ?"

But instead of the soft, gentle voice he had been expecting, a loud, deep echoing voice called to him.

"Stranger, you have proven that your loyalties lie not in this existence, but in your world, you have shown your willingness to go back, and there you shall go."

Then Jack knew no more as a blinding flash of lilac light filled his vision and he collapsed to the ground.

*************************

Daniel's eyes flickered open as he felt movement beneath his hand. Only slight, but enough to arouse his hopes. His head shot up as he looked urgently for any sign that his friend was awakening.

"Jack ? Jack, can you hear me ? Please Jack, please." He called out.

Jack stirred slightly, a low moan escaping past his lips.

"Come on, come on," Daniel pleaded.

Jack's eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright in bed, startling Daniel and causing several alarms to activate on the monitor above his bed.

Out the corner of his eye, Daniel could see Doctor Fraiser running towards them, instruments in hand, a hopeful look on her face, several nurses also dropped what they were doing to help.

Jack couldn't breathe, something was working against him as he realised how cold he really was, and for one dreadful moment he thought he was back there and all this was an illusion his mind had created to trick him into thinking he was home.

But no, their was Daniel's eager face, and Doctor Fraiser gently trying to restrain him as he struggled against the tube down his throat, almost choking him instead of helping. He barely registered the Doctor's gentle persuading words and Daniel's soft tones as they told him about the plastic in his throat.

"Stop fighting it Jack, it's there to help."

"Colonel relax, please, I'll take the tube out if you calm down."

They saw Jack nod as he understood and tried to calm his frantic breathing down, aware of his whole body shaking in response to the cold.

Quickly Janet pulled the tube from his throat and gently rubbed Jack's back as he coughed violently in response to the rapid removal of the plastic breathing aid.

Sipping at water gently, Jack allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction as he realised his achievement, he was home, he had made it.

"How're you feeling." Daniel asked, concerned.

"Cold," was all Jack managed to say in-between violent shivers.

"I'm not surprised, we almost lost you."

The two were silent as several nurses wrapped blankets round the Colonel and gently lowered his head back down to the pillow.

"How did you escape ?" Daniel asked when they were finished.

Jack looked startled. 

"How did you know ?" 

"It was Jolinar really."

"Jolinar."

"Yes, a memory Sam had of that place. We know about the other dimension." Daniel told him.

"You mean Carter knew about this and didn't tell us ?"

"No, no, she had a flashback later, when we went back to retrieve that box, it was only then we realised what happened."

"Ah."

"So..."

"So what ?"

"How did you escape ?"

"Daniel," Jack began, "that.....is a long story."

"Well I'd like to hear it." Daniel persisted.

"Let's just say it had something to do with you guys, I just want to say thanks."

"For what ?"

"For being there."

"What ?"

"I had to jump."

"Jump ?"

Jack sighed, it was going to be long night.

"Well you see, it has something to do with this race called the Carundai and they..............."

**************************

*Fin*

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Well that is my Word a month for October attempt, hope you liked it, any feedback welcome.

   [1]: nephthyssgc@yahoo.com



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